Council for Life Blog

Many of our members and friends have inquired about Council for Life's perspective on the recent news of Susan G. Komen's funding of Planned Parenthood. We appreciate the efforts of organizations seeking solutions for breast cancer and other diseases that target women. Nancy Brinker has been an extraordinary leader on the forefront of this battle, and we applaud her life-affirming achievements on behalf of women.

We are saddened that Komen has been sidetracked from its original mission by the publicity surrounding its decision to redirect funds away from Planned Parenthood and its subsequent reversal of that decision. We see the revelation of Komen's association with Planned Parenthood and the dialogue surrounding it as an opportunity to educate our members, friends and community and remind them of our core values which are:
* We believe in the sanctity of Life and that Life begins at conception.
* We exist to equip and educate our community about issues concerning Life.
* The Word of God is our foundation of truth.
* We seek to insure that all our endeavors glorify God.
* We are committed to undergirding everything we say and do with love,   mercy, grace and forgiveness, acting in compassion.
* We believe God redeems us and restores us.
* We educate, but we do not legislate.  

We are about maximizing the possibility of LIFE! We share our message through educational events and our annual fundraising luncheon. We desire to provide the woman in an unplanned pregnancy every opportunity to choose Life, and we support agencies that walk her through giving birth and beyond. We also support ministries that bring healing to women and men who did not choose Life and are hurting as a consequence. Rather than editorializing over the Komen-Planned Parenthood controversy, we ask our members to join us in prayer for both organizations. Please pray that through this episode our culture will be changed, that Komen and Planned Parenthood will understand the sanctity of Life and God's truth will prevail. Please check our website’s Resources tab for links to other relevant articles.  

Thank you for standing with us in encouraging and celebrating Life. Please attend as many of our events as possible to become better educated on championing life-affirming agencies. Join the conversation on the Council for Life Facebook Page .

Together for Life,

Council for Life

Council for Life member Lisa Sterling shares her story on adoption and the misconceptions she encountered throughout the process. 

Five years ago, my husband and I started down the exciting and emotional road of adoption.  This was familiar territory to me because I am an adoptee, so coming to terms with the fact that our family would be created through the miracle of adoption was not all that difficult.  We both believe that God's ultimate plans prevail and we would end up with the family He intended us to have.  Working with the Gladney Center for Adoption, we were well prepared for the process - the wait time, the paperwork and the opportunity to meet the birth mothers of our children.

What I was not prepared for was the amount of misinformation and misguided opinions people have about adoption.  The perceptions were all new to me since I had the fortune of growing up with a great group of kids, many of whom were also adopted.  It was not by design that many of my friends were adopted - my parents didn't create this bubble for me so I would not feel "different".  It was simply through the fact that God places people in our lives for a reason. I had never knowingly encountered anyone who viewed adoption as anything other than what it is:  a very loving, unselfish decision made by a birth mother who chose life for her child.  

I was very open about the fact that we were going to adopt.  My family needed to know, of course.  I had to squelch the "grand baby" talk once and for all with a firm plan to provide one (or two) children.  My colleagues needed to know since there is no way to predict when the Stork would arrive with my new bundle of joy.  My friends also needed to know - I dearly love my girlfriends and rely on their support.
 
As I set out sharing our happy news (much as a pregnant mommy would), I was shocked at the range of reactions from people.  On one end it was as if WE were making the ultimate sacrifice (almost Sainthood status) by agreeing to take on someone else’s burden.  A burden?  We wanted a family more than anything.  How is that a “burden?”  On the other end of the reaction range it was as if we were snatching a baby from its mother's arms. People wondered how could anyone ever give up their baby without considering the fact that they wanted something for their child that they knew they could not provide?  
 
It was suddenly clear to me that adoption suffered from poor PR.  There are opportunities abound to educate and inform young ladies who find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy and for others in general that adoption is a very loving option for all involved.  The message is simple:  A life has been created.  So many men and women are hoping to become parents, and they would love a child so unconditionally, much as our Heavenly Father loves us.  
 
Not a day goes by that I don't think about my children’s’ birth moms.  They each shared with us very specific dreams that they had for their babies. For my son, "raise him to be a man of character.” For my daughter, "ensure she is intellectually stimulated; nurture her talents."   We will not fail these young ladies in their dreams for the babies they entrusted to us.

It is an awesome feeling, as an adoptee, to be “doubly” loved by my birth mom who loved me enough to give me life and the chance to have the things she felt she could not provide and by my parents, who gave me a family, their unconditional love and every opportunity in this world to have “good character” and be “intellectually stimulated.”

Our love for our children is as pure and real as any parent would have for their child.  We did not miss the biological experience of being pregnant and bringing a life into this world ourselves.  Our heart's desire was for a family.  God has provided that, in His way and in His time. How can that be doubted?

Lisa Sterling

Council for Life member Jennifer Shelmire shares her thoughts on past Life Lessons Box Lunch events and shares a preview of this year's event:

 Council for Life will host their annual Life Lessons Box Lunch event on Tuesday, January 24, 2012, to celebrate Sanctity of Life month. The Box Lunch was the first event I ever attended for Council for Life. The crowd is smaller and more intimate than the luncheon, and the low cost makes it easy to invite all of the friends and family I want to! The Box Lunch event always has a great speaker and message; one year I pulled my daughter and niece out of school to attend the event! I’ll never forget seeing their faces as the speakers told their stories about Life.

This year’s event will feature Reverend Philip Jones, Senior Pastor at All Saints Church in Dallas, and his wife Claudia. They will be sharing personal stories on what Sanctity of Life Month means to them and how unplanned pregnancy has played a role in their family.

I hope to see you there!

Jennifer Shelmire 

To learn more and to register for the Life Lessons Box Lunch, visit www.councilforlife.org. 

During this season of giving we pause to thank Harriet Maclay, 2011 Council for Life Board President, for her generous gift of time and leadership to our wonderful organization.  On behalf of the 30 board members who served with Harriet during 2011, the hundreds of people who interacted with CFL this year and the countless lives Harriet touched because of her willingness to hear the call of our Lord to join Him in His work, we offer you our sincerest gratitude. Harriet made this 10^th year of celebrating Life a remarkable and memorable year for so many.

When I asked Harriet what some of the highlights of her year have been she replied, “Oh, I haven’t thought about it.”  That is a very significant statement and says a lot about Harriet.  She never thought about what she had done. Instead she is always thanking the Lord for what He had done and thanking others. The following quote captures the heart of Harriet: “It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered.”

Calvin Coolidge said, “No Person was ever honored for what he received.  Honor has been the reward for what he gave.”

And Harriet has given SO much! Let’s take a look back:

She began the year long before January with countless emails and meetings to prepare for the events of 2011. 

Together with Libby Hunt, the CFL “Life Lessons” Box Lunch in January was a success with the Lafferty’s sharing their inspiring story of Life.

Everyone enjoyed a glorious weekend at the Board Retreat thanks to Jessica Thackston’s hospitality, Shannon Graham and Mona Wilson’s training and Harriet’s leadership.

The deep freeze we experienced in February did not deter Harriet, Diane Becket and committee from planning our Men’s Event for 400 men.  The Lord provided safe passage for about 325 brave and faithful souls to attend the breakfast. Guest speaker, Stephen Arterburn’s flight was one of the only ones that landed the whole week at DFW airport.  Oh the prayers that were offered and answered for that event!

Harriet along with Jennifer Shelmire and Belinda Heraty hosted a wonderful kick-off for the 5K Run.  That turned out to be another outstanding event that included a great opportunity for Juniors to participate in a Council for Life event.

Gina Lu Petty worked with Harriet to gather much needed items and funds for Pregnancy Resource Centers through Brighter Beginnings in March 2011. 

Then came the 5K Run! Remember that glorious day when so many came to support Life?  Thanks to Belinda, Jennifer and Harriet and all of the volunteers, Council for Life was able to write a check to Gladney for $54,600.

God brought two amazing speakers to our Spring Coffee who shared His passion for Life with all of us in messages we will never forget. Rebecca Lutz, Spring Coffee chair, and Harriet provided all of us with a beautiful morning. Harriet’s daughter Meredith informed her about Claire Caldwell and she agreed to speak, and our prayers were answered when our second speaker, Lila Rose, took a 6 a.m. flight to be on time in order for her to be at the Coffee to speak at 10 a.m. 

Amanda Richard, Claire Smith and Harriet planned an event in May that brought the Junior group together and created a momentum that will carry us forward with a very special group of young adults sharing Life!

Shannon Graham, Mona Wilson and Harriet shared an evening of role play and training that allowed each of us to improve our elevator speeches for Life!!

At our September board meeting Harriet lead the way for a unanimous vote to proceed with Council for Life 10 Year Project to establish the first CFL Affiliate.

The Lord continued to bless CFL with an amazing evening at the Troutt’s home in October.  Betsy Hunt, Lisa Troutt and Harriet orchestrated a perfect evening.  Chuck Colson spoke with conviction about the sanctity of life.  His passion for Life and love of our Lord was shared with a record crowd of 370 people.

We took short break to celebrate 10 years with the Council for Life Founders at a luncheon in mid-October. It was the kickoff to what has been claimed “a glorious success!”

We praise the Lord for what He did through Harriet, Sara Lee Gardner and their Luncheon Committee at the Celebrating A Decade of Life Luncheon.  Praise the Lord for this spectacular event!  He is so faithful and was so evident in every detail. 

In the midst of all of these wonderful events Harriet has cared for her family, Doug, Meredith, Claire and Douglas.  The Lord has carried her through the death of Doug’s father and her sister’s stroke.

“This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it … the Lord is his name.  Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”  Jeremiah 33:2-3.

We have all learned great and unsearchable things from Harriet.

“What the heart gives away is never gone.  It is kept in the hearts of others.”  Robin St. John.

Our hearts are full of your most generous blessings.  Thank you from the very bottom of our hearts for all that you have done and will continue to do for Council for Life.

Happy Holidays from Council for Life!

Janna Lewis
2012 Council for Life President 

More than 1,100 guests joined the Council for Life in the Chantilly Ballroom at the Hilton Anatole on November 10, 2011, for its annual luncheon, “Celebrating a Decade of Life,” featuring keynote speaker Kathy Ireland, CEO of kathy ireland Worldwide. 

Council for Life was founded in 2001 by 11 Dallas women with the goal to fund and equip life-affirming organizations such as pregnancy resource centers, teen abstinence and sex education programs and adoption agencies. This year’s 10^th anniversary luncheon celebrated Council for Life’s accomplishments over the last decade and put the spotlight on a national affiliate program beginning in January 2012.

“Since 2001, Council for Life has raised more than $2.7 million for 29 beneficiaries, and we hope to empower other communities to support life-affirming organizations,” said Harriet Maclay, president, Council for Life. “We look forward with great expectancy to watch our vision unfold as we expand across the country.”

Kathy Ireland took the stage and spoke about her relationship with God and her journey to becoming pro-life, a decision that affected her both personally and professionally. Ireland also encouraged the audience to initiate positive change when it comes to helping someone make a life-affirming decision.

 “I was told speaking about being Pro-Life could end my career,” Ireland said. “Don’t let anyone silence you or let your fear silence you. It’s a human life. There is no comparison.”

To learn more about Council for Life and to view a video celebrating the 10^th anniversary, visit www.councilforlife.org.

With our luncheon “Celebrating a Decade of Life” just around the corner on November 10, chairwoman Sara Lee Gardner shares her thoughts on this year’s event and why you should attend.   

Ten years ago when the Council for Life was created and the first luncheon was held, my sweet mom, who is in heaven now, asked me to attend because she said there is something different about it. I said I said I was too busy, but my mom bought me a ticket anyways so I would attend. Mom was right in asking me to go, and I left the luncheon relaxed and at peace as I felt the love and forgiveness in the room.

A decade later, the feeling is still there. The luncheon provides a wonderful opportunity to support those who serve daily to honor God’s gift of life. It also serves to help love and support those who do not feel loveable due to choices they have made and to educate about God’s will for the unborn. Our growth has been substantial, and during this special event, a surprise announcement will be made about the impact our reach has had.

Guests of this year’s luncheon will also have the privilege of hearing supermodel turned super mogul Kathy Ireland share her thoughts on Life. Kathy is a very gracious and well-spoken business woman and mother who will reach out to the audience to illustrate why she chooses Life and why she chose to change her views from pro-choice to pro-life. Kathy is very inclusive of all God’s children, whether they are Christians, non-Christians or agnostics, and believes all can be taught the sanctity of life. 

A short video highlighting the celebration of Life will be shown at the end of the luncheon. The video shares various aspects of Life, including a touching story about a lively 10-year-old who was saved 10 years ago because of the Council for Life!

Tickets are selling fast, but there is still an opportunity to attend! You can buy a single ticket or you can request tickets for a small group for you and your friends, family or colleagues! Your time will be blessed by attending the luncheon.

Learn more about the Council for Life and the “Celebrating a Decade of Life” luncheon by visiting www.councilforlife.org.

The Council for Life celebrates its 10th anniversary of service and commitment to raising awareness of life-affirming issues.  As one of a series of events this fall, Ellen McStay graciously hosted a luncheon in her home on October 12th honoring the Council for Life 11 founding members and 10 past presidents.

Founding member Judy Ferguson spoke about Council for Life’s mission and how each of the founders has contributed over the past 10 years. Founder and current board member Ann Carruth spoke cordially about the Council’s efforts and outreach and how the organization has grown to extend the message of human dignity and the sanctity of life. Sara Lee Gardner offered toasts to the founders, presidents and past presidents, giving sincere thanks for their commitment and involvement. 

Council for Life's annual luncheon takes place on November 10 at 11:00 a.m. in the Chantilly Ballroom at the Hilton Anatole Hotel. Supermodel turned super mogul Kathy Ireland will serve as the luncheon speaker. Individual tickets are available starting at $150. Underwriting opportunities are also available. For more information, visit www.councilforlife.org. 

Council for Life’s Celebrating a Decade of Life Luncheon is just around the corner! In honor of this year’s luncheon, Sue Gragg Precious Jewels has graciously donated a beautiful diamond cross pendant which will be raffled off at the luncheon on Thursday, November 10. Those interested in winning the pendant can purchase a contribution ticket for $35, and the winner will be announced on stage at the luncheon.

Lisa Troutt, Chuck Colson, Kenny Troutt

A record 370 guests attended the Troutt Lecture Series at Kenny and Lisa Troutt’s home on Monday, October 3, 2011. The event marked the 10-year anniversary of Council for Life, which was formed by 11 Dallas women including: Ann Carruth, Judy Ferguson, Elaine Harman, Bette Hoag, Sue Justice, Suzanne Nash, Sarah Perot, Janet Quisenberry, Kim Rozell, Jill Smith and Lisa Troutt.

“I don’t think any of us could have imagined the plans that God had in mind when He called this group of women together 10 years ago,” said Lisa Troutt, founding member of Council for Life. “We are thrilled to see the efforts of those who are a part of the Council for Life raise awareness and funding for so many life-affirming causes and organizations.”

Betsy Hunt, Harriet Maclay, Lisa Troutt

Well-known author, speaker and radio commentator Chuck Colson spoke about the sanctity of life and the uniqueness of the American culture to support life-affirming decisions. Kerby Anderson of KLTY’s Point of View radio show was the master of ceremonies.

“We have been blessed these past few years to have scholars and theologians speak at the Council for Life lectures,” said Troutt. “They teach and remind us that human dignity is God-given because he created us in His image. It was such a privilege to hear from Chuck Colson, a modern-day William Wilberforce, who is changing culture through teaching and writing about God’s calling in our lives and how we should live.”

Council for Life’s annual luncheon will take place at 11:00 a.m. on November 10, 2011, in the Chantilly Ballroom at the Hilton Anatole Hotel. This year’s luncheon will celebrate a decade of Council for Life and feature former super model and fashion designer Kathy Ireland as a speaker. Individual tickets are available starting at $150, and underwriting opportunities are also available. For more information, visit www.councilforlife.org.

Troutt Lecture Series:

The Troutt Lecture Series will take place on Monday, October 3, 2011, and feature speaker Chuck Colson, founder of Prison Fellowship, BreakPoint, and the Chuck Colson Center for Christian Worldview. Colson has authored several books, including Born Again, Loving God, How Now Shall We Live?, The Good Life and The Faith Given Once, for All—that have shaped Christian thinking on a variety of subjects. Don’t miss out on your opportunity to hear this great speaker!

Celebrating Life Luncheon:

Join Council for Life in celebrating a decade of life on Thursday, November 10, 2011, at the Celebrating Life Luncheon. The luncheon will take place at the Hilton Anatole and feature Kathy Ireland of Kathy Ireland World Wide. Kathy Ireland had dedicated her life to those in need and living  for Christ. This is sure to be one of the best celebrations of the year!

Want to learn more about Council for Life? Click here.

“Is your life workin’ for you?”

“Do you know there’s another way to live?”

“Have you heard how much God loves YOU?”

These are questions burning in my heart when I lead a young woman into a counseling room at the DPRC. At the same time, my heart desperately requests “Take over, Jesus. Use me, but get “Me” out of the way and meet this woman with Your Presence. Here. Now.

And off we go together. I listen to her story, asking poignant questions and offer her an ear, understanding, hope, comfort, and possibilities.

Thursday afternoons for me can’t get any better.

Late last spring, Bonner, my 18 year old, and I curiously went to a Martha’s Cookies training evening in the neighborhood. Both of our hearts were surprisingly touched. The need for women to speak truth and grace to other women in unplanned pregnancies was so apparent and tugged at us to learn more. We knew we were clueless how to help should a woman in need cross our path. “Train us” was both of our hearts’ desire that night. Avery, my 20 year old, came home from college for the summer soon after and wanted to join us. None of us knew what to say, how to help. “Equip us” we asked. Equip us they have and they continue to. Weekly, we spent the summer observing advocates in action at the DPRC and reviewing the great material they provided.  Great training in a body of knowledge and insights is ongoing and personal.

The girls went back to school, better equipped to speak to their generation. I have continued to serve at the DPRC. It is a front row seat for seeing Jesus touching hurting hearts.

Each encounter seems divinely orchestrated. Each one is unique.

Every person who comes through the door at the DPRC is never the same because each had been touched by God’s love. Each responds differently and many are warmed in the Light of the Greatest Lover and His love story for them.

We offer our five loaves and two fish and He blesses.

I’m learning to be available. And not fearful.

What a privilege.

What about you?

-Nancy Briggs

One rhythmic sound melted it all away: all the sadness, all the anger, all the loss of dreams, all the heartache – all dissolved in an instant at the familiar drum-like beat.

You see, it was the heartbeat of my unborn granddaughter.

Our pediatrician had phoned to inform us that the pregnancy test on our 17-year-old daughter was positive, and as my world crumbled silently within my soul, he proceeded to recommend a pediatric obstetrician, explaining that teenage girls suffer a higher risk of pregnancy complications. I had never imagined until that very moment that pediatric obstetricians even existed. Such a sad oxymoron.

The young female specialist was very kind. As she listened for a heartbeat, she smiled, then turned to me and asked if I’d like to listen. The entire situation had seemed so unreal to me; perhaps I was in denial that my baby girl was to have a baby. But after hearing the strong, steady whooshing of blood, reality set in right along with the tears and I knew beyond a doubt that there was a little living, breathing person in there who was my grandchild. I was instantly in love.

The doctor gently inquired as to our plans for the pregnancy, and I told her that we were still looking into the options. Pregnancy termination was definitely not one of those options, as my daughter had very wisely declared early on. She said that, as inconvenient and emotionally troublesome as this pregnancy was, she simply could not murder her baby. Termination and murder were synonymous to her.

Beginning that day, we sought the counsel of our pastor and others whom we hoped could give us sound advice, knowing without a doubt that the final decision would be our daughter’s. On the recommendation of a friend who had two precious adopted children, we visited The Gladney Center in Fort Worth. We took a tour of the facilities, spoke with numerous people who worked there, and came away quite certain that our daughter would most likely be going to Gladney for the duration of her pregnancy. We especially wanted her to have the excellent counseling they offered, but most of all, we wanted the decision regarding the baby to be hers, and hers alone.

On the plane ride home after the emotionally grueling day at Gladney, neither my daughter nor I were much in the mood for small talk. However, the flight was full, and we were obliged to smile at the 35-year-old woman who took the aisle seat on our row. I turned my face towards the window and feigned ardent interest in the handling of bags below, but my daughter was unwittingly drawn into conversation with the nicely dressed stranger.

“What brings you to the Dallas/Fort Worth area?” she asked my daughter. I closed my eyes out of pain for the ensuing dialogue, but my teen dove right in and told her the truth: “I’m pregnant and my mom and I have been to Fort Worth to check out The Gladney Center. I might place my baby for adoption.”

Wide-eyed, the woman proceeded to explain that she, too, had placed a baby through Gladney as a teen. The rest of the flight, which “flew” by, was spent in an incredibly healthy exchange that left us dumbfounded. God had placed that woman beside us, and He had made his intentions quite clear!

Having our pregnant daughter living four hours away during the last half of her senior year in high school had to be one of the most difficult things my husband and I have ever encountered. I cried for days after we left her there. I called every day, wrote every day, prayed every day, and visited as often as I could. She was able to finish her senior year at Gladney, and accompanied by a small group of family members, we attended her graduation. The transcript was sent to the high school she had attended before entering Gladney, and the diploma graciously bore the name of that school. I had certainly never envisioned my daughter graduating from high school pregnant, but she did.

Having cooled down and processed the dilemma our family faced, my husband and I had decided that we would be more than willing to adopt our daughter’s child and raise her as our own; but our daughter, who has always been a very independent sort, thought that it would be too difficult to be around her child and not have parental authority over her. She wanted desperately to keep her baby, but she knew that life as a single mom would be very hard for her, and her child, and she really didn’t want the birth father to be in her life forever, so after months of intense counseling, she made the agonizing decision to make an adoption plan for her baby.

It seems that was only a heartbeat ago. But just last week, we met our 21-year-old granddaughter for the very first time! It was a satisfying and memorable experience that we will treasure into eternity. God opened up the curtain on the life we had missed and allowed us a peek behind the scenes into her world. My daughter had held, rocked and sung to her baby several times in the hours after she was born, but my husband and I had never seen her, held her, or even known the sound of her cry. Now finally, finally we were privileged to meet the most unbelievably beautiful young woman any of us had ever seen.

That memory of her heart beating had been in my mind for years. To actually meet the young lady to whom that heartbeat had belonged was the fruition of a long unfinished dream. She is a young woman any grandparent would be proud of, and she’s had amazing, Godly parents who raised her much as we would have. We are so grateful she’s had such a fulfilling upbringing, and we are very hopeful that we’ll have at least a small role in her life in the years to come.

Whenever I hear people say someone “gave a baby up for adoption,” I literally cringe. They usually say it through clenched teeth, indicating the woman who committed such an act must be a horrible person, but I know that placing a baby for adoption is an unselfish act of love, and the birth mother who places her baby is putting the welfare of her child before her own desires. It is a heart-wrenching decision that is not made lightly.

I wish I’d known my granddaughter since that initial heartbeat that melted mine, but I now know that she’s had a wonderful life with her adoptive family, and I know she’s been right where God wanted her to be all that time.

She may not have lived with me, but she’s always been in my heart.

Written by L. J. Charles

April 2, 2011, arrived it was a beautiful day. The crowds showed up. The gun went off. And over 600 runners and walkers – kids, adults, and even family dogs – began the race. I waited at the finish and watched the runners come across the finish line one at a time. Joy came over me. I had been given a chance to give back to a cause that is very personal to me. I was adopted as an infant because my birth mother was unable to care for me the way she wanted so God placed me in a loving home. The Council For Life 5K Run benefited birthmothers through Gladney’s Next Step Program. Now, because of the funds from the CFL Run, Gladney Center for Adoption will be even better equipped to help more birthmothers improve their lives after they have made a choice for life.

-Jennifer Shelmire

by Ellen Porter

Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband Reid and I had always been interested in adopting internationally. We tried to conceive children naturally for more than 2 years before we finally decided to start the adoption process.

Adoption is scary. It is SCARY!!!! It is a great pit of the unknown. You are scared to death about who the mother of this child is going to be, will she be healthy carrying my child, will the baby be healthy, what will he look like, will he be cute, will people stare at us, how can we afford it, will my child have developmental or behavioral problems, will I love him?

Those fears are based on the illusion of control. We think, “If I were to have my own biological children, I know what I am putting into my body when I am pregnant. I know that I will have good prenatal care, and I know what my child will look like more or less. If I adopt, who KNOWS what I will get!”

For us to think in our arrogance that we should NOT participate in adoption because we are not in control is an affront to the sovereignty of God. We are NEVER in control – only God is. The only reason that we don’t all fly apart in some cataclysmic tragedy is because God is holding all the atoms together in perfect harmony as we speak.

In hindsight, had we had a whole bunch of biological children right off the bat, I don’t know if we would have been obedient to the call of adoption. Too many kids, too busy, who knows what kind of child we will get, etc… Praise His holy name – He made absolutely sure we would not miss out on the blessing He had planned for our lives. In our disobedience and laziness, we could have missed it! We could have missed the amazing child that is our firstborn son, Caleb Porter!

What if we had not adopted Caleb? Who knows where he would be right now if he weren’t upstairs playing with his fire truck? What bed would he be sleeping in if he weren’t in his cozy blankets, with his head lying on his beloved bunny next to his brother and best friend Bennett? What would he be eating for breakfast if he weren’t at my table getting syrup all over the place? Would he be hungry, cold, and detached after years of going without all the hugs and kisses that we have given him? Would he still have that “mega watt smile” as our minister Bill Lamberth likes to call it, or would he be hollow and sullen? Would the people working at the orphanage ever know all of his tickle spots and that his favorite thing in the world is to be chased, tackled, and tickled until he can’t breathe? Would they know he can work puzzles intended for 8 year-olds? What if his birth mother had not chosen life for him and he didn’t even exist? I can’t imagine life without my Caleb. All I do know is that I would have missed him – more than words can describe – without even knowing it!

Ellen Porter and her husband Reid adopted their son Caleb through Gladney. Let’s all celebrate life by supporting adoption! Please join us for our Council for Life 5K Run on Saturday, April 2, benefiting the Gladney Center for Adoption and specifically Gladney’s Next Step Program, a program which helps birth mothers with the transition back into society by arming them with knowledge, education, practical tools and confidence. For more information about the 5K Run, please go to http://www.councilforlife.org/get-involved/take-steps.html.

Truth for Us Became Truth in Us:

Coming to know more truly what we thought we knew already

Outline of Talk by Patrick and Christy Lafferty

Council for Life Box Lunch Series - January 18th, 2011

Intro:

We’ve all had the experience of thinking that we knew something, and then coming to know something more truly.  It’s not that what we thought we already knew was wrong; we just came to realize that our knowledge of it was at best superficial.  And while there was a measure of pain on our way to that knowledge, it was a grace, in the end, to have our knowledge deepened.  Today we’d like to tell your our story, in a conversational way, how we came to know more truly what we thought we knew already about life.

What we thought we knew about life already

Life is precious.  How did we “know” life was precious?  Scripture says a lot about it:

God made life (Gen 1:27f).  And anything God has made has an intrinsic value and dignity to it by virtue of the fact that it arose from His Will.

God purposed life (Gen 1:28ff).  God gave life meaning by giving it a reason for being.  Life didn’t exist for its own sake.  It wasn’t created and then sent off wandering to find its own purpose, or create its own purpose.  Life came into being to reflect, in part, the nature of God—the One who’d fashioned it.  Life came into being to experience the gift of participating in God’s world.  To hear birds sing, to taste a good pie (or pinot noir), to feel cool grass beneath your feet, to wonder if someone a million miles away would ever see the light from a flashlight you’d pointed into the night sky.  Such experiences are gifts and the living are their beneficiaries.  Mostly, though life came into existence to experience communion with the One responsible for life.  All those speak to the purpose for life.

God abhors its misuse (Gen 3:13-19).  I think the Fall of man, in a sense, centers around an attempt to live life detached from what establishes life.  So the curse of God in making death our destiny is itself a reflection of His regard for life in that He will not countenance its misuse.

God mourns its loss (Gen 4:10, Jn 11:35, 38).  When Cain kills Abel, God says the ground is crying out with his blood.  He is enraged by the taking of a life.  Jesus himself weeps over Lazarus’ death—the condition to which all humanity is subject.

God is sovereign over it (Gen 4:15, Deut 32:35). Though life comes from God, life is not more important than God.  Sometimes God authorizes the taking of life, but He says it is His, not others’ decision.  He is sovereign over it.

God sacrifices for its flourishing (Jn 3:16, Rom 5:6-12). You can’t understand Jesus or His Gospel unless you recognize that God was willing to sacrifice what was precious so that “though we die, yet shall we live.” And while we live we might live with his joy.

God adopted us as His children.  How did we “know” that? Again, the Scripture is unambiguous.

God means for the world to know He is Lord.  That’s the most prominent theme of the whole Bible—not because He feels lost if He’s not known, but because we’re lost if we don’t know Him–we’re too prone to making something or someone else equivalent to Him and ultimately find, too late, that thing or person to be insufficient.

Our estrangement from God required a unique intervention on His part to help us come to know Him intimately.

The essence of that intervention is to make us His own through Sovereign grace, Costly sacrifice, Binding promise of steadfast love.  Those three interrelated acts form the heart of what it means to adopt.

So God makes Himself known to the world by doing all that for us. He adopts us, makes us who were not part of his family a part of his family.

I can rattle off to your heart’s content all those heady ideas that are true about what God thinks of life, but I can still end up thinking of life as no big deal in the way I treat other lives.  So God has led us through some experiences that have made the truth we knew superficially into truth we’re coming to know more authentically.

What we came to know about life more truly

Like most modern American couples with a Protestant heritage, we started marriage with a respect for a life, but only insofar as it would be convenient for our enjoyment for the rest of life. While we could (and do) respect the necessity of discernment in asking ourselves whether we could provide for and care for children, if we’re honest, our reasons for pushing off bringing forth children were more like what Paul Reiser said in his very funny reflections on parenthood, “we didn’t want to have children because we wanted to preserve our ability to hop on a plane for Aruba—even though we’d likely never hop on a plane to Aruba.”

One chapter: Our pursuit of bringing forth children, its frustration, and the wonderment of seeing it happen before our very eyes.

The story. Set out to start a family.  Discovered our inherent obstacles, medically speaking.  We prayed and researched the ethics of assisted reproductive technology.  Sought the help of the medical community, while at the same time asking our friends to pray.  Not just that we bring forth children, but that we would be content with His will irrespective of the outcome.  We sought medical attention twice; both times yielded a child: Seamus and Savannah.

Its lesson(s). Life is a gift.  It’s not a given that we’ll see life or bring it forth.  We’re not entitled to have life or bring forth life—which then engenders appreciation for life.  Life is wondrous.  To be able to see the astounding simplicity of life in its earliest moments—and to grasp that from that simplicity arises an immeasurable complexity—evokes a real awe at what life is.  Participating in life is an enormous responsibility.  Though we’d prayed and researched the ethics of undertaking this process, towards the end of the second time, from which Savannah came forth, we felt the burden—physically, emotionally, ethically—of seeking life in this fashion.

Another chapter: Our celebration of bringing forth a child without assistance, and our devastation in that loss.

The story.  Bittersweet turn: surprised to learn of pregnancy without help!  Crestfallen at learning of an anomaly in her chest cavity: lung lesion.  Condition required vigilant monitoring, and perhaps even strenuous measures.  Condition in her lung improved; other anomalies observed but were considered manageable.  Two days after she was born, we learned of her true condition: Trisomy 18; two more days later she left us, as we cradled her, sang to her, prayed with her.

Its lesson(s).  Life is astounding.  Just as we were amazed to see life at its earliest stages, to understand just how many things can go wrong with the development of life underscores the impressiveness of life.  It’s a wonder we ever get out of the womb alive intact, considering how delicate is the process of development.  Life is precious.  No one had to tell us or teach us to mourn.  It came naturally.  That we mourned the life of one we’d only seen and held for a few days tells us that we know, innately, that life is to be cherished.  Life is worth fighting for. Though we could’ve terminated the pregnancy upon discovery of a serious anomaly…we felt like her life was worth fighting for.  Though we could’ve taken measures to add to our knowledge but which could’ve put our baby at risk (e.g. amnio)… we felt like her life was worth fighting for.  Life is meaningful.  (Now I Lay Me…) Even in the tragedy of untimely death, life is worth every effort to ennoble it—even by capturing an image of it in the wake of life’s loss.

Most recent chapter: Our musings on adoption, our trepidations at the last moment, our delight in having committed to it.

The story.  We’d always considered adoption—not as a second choice, but an alternative.  We’d made informal attempts at adopting, then sought the help of a wonderful agency, Chosen Heritage.  Got a call on Monday: Seamus said to Daddy, “I have a little brother”.   Met him on Thursday; went home sullen and scared.  Prayed like we never had, sought the counsel of a few wise people.  Brought him home on a Monday and finalized the adoption three weeks ago.

Its lesson(s).  Life is worth the sacrifice.  Without sacrifice, this little life would’ve been discarded or neglected.  It costs to rescue, sustain, and nurture life.  But what we’ve received in return from this little life in just a short time helps us see the worth of the sacrifice to make him ours.  Life is worth the risk.  Much of our fear centered around what might become of our family were we to bring another unfamiliar life into it.  But those fears are based on ideas we cannot see.  And love is by nature an act of risk.  So we learned, and are learning still, that life is worth the risk because love is itself a risk.  Life is a blessing.  God makes Himself known by adopting us, but He also makes Himself known by us adopting others.  What he does for us, he means to also do through us in a sense.  We don’t save Jedidiah, but we take the same steps God does for us because we’re compelled out of love.  We “knew” all those things in part, but we came to know them more fully through His grace.

Closing:

Isn’t it interesting how much of our life and our growth has resulted from our relationship to four babies?  Jesus’ calling the children to come to Him has special significance to us.  If children reflect the kind of posture toward God that God calls from us, isn’t it interesting that we’ve come to discover more about what true faith before God is like in our experience with bringing forth and raising children?

Life Lessons Box Lunch on RSVP Calendar:

http://rsvpcalendar.blogspot.com/2011/02/life-lessons-shared-at-cfls-january.html

http://www.prolifedallas.org/pages/southwestern_videos

Welcome and thank you for reading the first post for Council for Life’s blog! I have the privilege of serving as President this year. Many people ask me how I got involved with Council for Life, so I would like to share my story with you. Four years ago my heart was touched by a desire to invest my life in things that have eternal value. I prayed that God would give me an opportunity to serve Him in this way. A year later, I became involved in Council for Life, a group who is motivated by Christ-like compassion and exists to empower women, men and youth to make life affirming choices.  Last year I was asked to take on a big leadership role with this group. I believed God was calling me to do this but I felt very inadequate. Because of my church’s involvement in West Dallas, I was familiar with the Pregnancy Resource Center there and I was touched by their desire to reach out to women facing unplanned pregnancies to encourage them to choose life for their babies.

After receiving training to become a peer advocate, I began volunteering once a week. A few weeks later, I found myself in a counseling room with Karen, a 19 year old girl who was pregnant and uncertain about her future and her baby’s future. My heart went out to her as I listened to her story. I told her that I believed that God created all life and that He values all life. I told her that God has plans for her and for her baby, plans to prosper and not to perish. I opened my Bible and read Psalm 139:

¹³ For you Lord created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  ¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; ¹⁶ All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” After asking her about her spiritual beliefs, I had the privilege of sharing my faith with her. Praise God that Karen prayed to accept Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and she chose to give life to her baby. God saved two lives that day and impacted Karen’s family for generations to come.

I am so thankful that we can celebrate the value of human life and that each life is unique and worthy of our protection. I believe that all life is precious because God created all life in His image. God was faithful to equip me for the work He called me to do, and He will be faithful to equip you. If anyone is interested in getting involved in this ministry, I encourage you to go to www.councilforlife.org and become a member today!

Love Life! Give Life! Celebrate Life!

Laurie